June 2024
This lonely bookshelf, tucked away in a closet, has a story of both loss and gain. I don’t care what anyone says - being a parent is stinkin’ hard, and this bookshelf is proof of that. Teaching your child the consequences of poor actions, and the rewards given for good choices, is not as easy as it appears. This piece of furniture, thankfully, represents a reward for behavior, but it’s as a result of grave consequences from sinful choices.
I can’t tell you how many times I have sat quietly on the couch in the wee hours of the morning, breathed deeply with my head on the steering wheel before heading into work, or shed tears on my pillow as I’ve fallen asleep, all while asking God “What do we do?” Desperately needing wisdom - not ashamed of our child’s actions but wanting more for them - I keep asking, I keep praying, I keep pausing in silence waiting for an answer. And while my head tells me that God hears me - because Scripture says God hears the prayers of the righteous (Proverbs 15:29) - my heart tells me to stuff my worries under the bed because “what’s the point?” I FEEL like giving up, bowing to my child’s free will, but I KNOW that giving up is not an option.
The enemy is ferociously after our children, friends. Satan wants our kids, and it’s in the moments we FEEL like everything we’ve done, prayed over, and tried isn’t working that we need to dig deeper. What if God’s answer is on the way as he actively fights for you, even though it feels hopeless?
Similar to how I have felt, we read in Daniel chapter 10 about how the prophet wondered if God heard him after praying and mourning for three weeks. Scripture says Daniel saw a vision of a man dressed in fine clothing, who clearly was an angel, saying to him, “Don’t be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day you began to pray for understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your request has been heard in heaven. I have come in answer to your prayer” (Daniel 10:12, NLT). The angel proceeded to tell him he was on his way to deliver the message when he ended up fighting with the enemy for 21 days - three weeks - before the archangel Michael came to help in the fight. Did you catch that? Three. Full. Weeks. And that entire time this angel was in battle trying to get him the answer to his prayer. It was Daniel’s persistence in prayer that brought the answer. What if Daniel had given up?
Our persistence in prayer makes a difference as well. When we choose not to give up, and humbly ask God for help, it allows him to fight those battles we face. It would be a tragedy if we found ourselves in great need and a lack of prayer delayed the answer. Especially when it comes to our children, we need to be ahead of the game like Daniel was, because our persistence brings an answer when we most need it - whether it’s tomorrow or three years from now. Looking back, I wish I had been disciplined enough to pray persistently for the little things before they ever became a struggle, but that’s part of our growth journey. Just because I don’t see what God is doing, or the spiritual warfare that surrounds my family, doesn’t mean He isn’t working (and fighting) on our behalf.
Whether it’s lack of sleep in the newborn stage, toddler rage, school-age relationships, teenage hormones or poor adult choices, our children need us on our knees. I’ve been in full-time ministry for twenty years, and I still have a lot of learning to do when it comes to prayer. I need to constantly remind myself that my feelings lie to me daily, and the only thing I can stand firm on is the truth of the Gospel. Jesus did not die on a cross so I could bow to my child’s free will. No. He died on the cross so that my children could receive his redemption. No disruptions, prodigal seasons, or doubts can keep me away from believing and praying for a future of grounded faith and unwavering confidence in Jesus in each of my children’s lives. Are there consequences to sin? Yes. But it should not stop us from pursuing the reward of salvation.